Abusive Relationships Tips

Abusive Personality

There are signs that can help you spot someone with an abusive personality. The earlier you become aware of these red flags, the easier it is to get out of the relationship. Take notice if the person you are involved with displays the following abusive personality traits.

• Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
• Pushes for quick and intense involvement
• Seems too good to be true
• Blames others for actions
• Needs to be in control
• Unrealistic expectations of the relationship
• Easily upset or angered
• Inability to respect partner's boundaries, privacy, need for separate activities or identity
• History of violent behavior

Teen Abusive Relationship

Teen abusive relationships include physical, sexual and verbal abuse. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2000) found that one in 11 high school students said they had been hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the past year. Similarly, one in 11 students reported that they had been forced to have sexual intercourse. According to 2000 statistics from the Bureau of Justice, f ar greater numbers of teens (as high as 96 percent) report emotional and psychological abuse in their dating relationships.

You may be in an abusive relationship if your boy/girl friend:

· Acts possessive or jealous

· Slaps, pushes, hits, kicks or threatens you

· Forces you to have sex

· Yells at you

· Makes you feel guilty all the time

· Calls you names or makes you feel stupid

· Forces you to do things you are not comfortable doing

· Uses drugs or alcohol or forces you to use them

· Won't let you break up with him/her

Leaving an Abusive Relationship

The process of leaving an abusive relationship is difficult and dangerous. Safety is the primary concern. Even if you do not think your partner poses a risk, leaving often triggers an increase in violence. It is best to prepare as much as you can ahead of time.

Ask a friend or family member to keep items you gather to take with you. Make sure the person you choose will not tell your abuser about your plans to leave. Do not take anything that will be noticed as missing.

Things to Stash Away:

• Money
• Contact information for a local domestic violence shelter
• Prescribed medications
• Legal documents for you and your children (e.g. birth certificates, social security cards)
• Photographs or written evidence of the abuse
• Financial records and account numbers
• Personal belongings possessing sentimental value
• Clothing and personal needs

• A plan that safely removes yourself and you children from the home
• Transportation for yourself, children and belongings
• A safe place to stay
• How to manage being gone from home for an extended time
• Referral to a lawyer or legal advocate to obtain a personal protection order, temporary child custody order, etc.

Signs of an Abusive Personality

Dating should be a fun experience. To make sure you're enjoying yourself, while staying safe, be aware of common signs in people with abusive personalities. If you're using an online dating service, look for these types of traits in possible matches:

• Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
• Pushes for quick and intense involvement
• Seems too good to be true
• Needs to be in control
• Unrealistic expectations of the relationship
• Easily upset or angered

Signs of an Abusive Personality

Once you are in an abusive relationship, it is difficult to get out. Therefore, recognizing the number one early warning sign of an abusive personality gives you the key to avoiding the whole problem. Someone with an abusive personality always displays an unusual amount of jealousy. Although this may at first seem flattering, the level of possessiveness will accelerate as the relationship progresses.