Listen to 300+ podcasts by best-selling authors, published Wednesday, 4pm EST!

Signs of an Abusive Personality

Read this tip to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Abusive Relationships and other Relationship topics.

What is the number one sign of someone with an abusive personality?

Signs of an Abusive Personality

Once you are in an abusive relationship, it is difficult to get out. Therefore, recognizing the number one early warning sign of an abusive personality gives you the key to avoiding the whole problem. Someone with an abusive personality always displays an unusual amount of jealousy. Although this may at first seem flattering, the level of possessiveness will accelerate as the relationship progresses.



3/8/2007 1:30:32 PM
amber said:

yes, i don't know if I'm in an abusive relationship or not. I found out the other day I am pregnant. I just don't know what to do. Can u email me back with something, some questions or whatever?

11/1/2007 7:31:00 AM
precious said:

this tip should not say always. almost always or very often might be better.

11/8/2007 1:34:47 PM
~Guera~ said:

I know that jealousy is the biggest sign of an abusive personality, but are there any more signs to look for? Even if they are the smallest signs I would still like to know.

11/19/2007 7:47:20 AM
Fade said:

I was in an abusive relationship where the abuser wasn't at all jealous. In retrospect I think he had learned to hide his jealousy but the other signs were all there such as "too good to be true", overreacting, crazy mood swings, etc.

2/2/2009 1:38:31 PM
chulis said:

duz jelousy have to do alottt with abusive!!!!!!!!!!???????????

2/8/2009 7:03:02 PM
chlvic02 said:

its hard to get out of an abusive realtionship i've tried sooo many times and cant he has so much control over me

5/31/2009 12:58:24 AM
jeanne said:

to say an abusive person is "always" jealous, can cause someone to miss other important signs. my abuser has never been overtly fact he has tolerated my friendships with other men -- even former boyfriends -- without any question at all for 20 years. but that i've really put my foot down, and won't engage as his victim anymore, now he's starting to question my male friendships and has accused me of being unfaithful twice. this is AFTER 20 years. So it's not necessarily an early warning sign.

9/8/2009 8:12:03 PM
nana said:

I feel I am the abuser in this case I am extremely jealous ,possesive and suspisious.I know I need serious HELP can anyone please tell me of any place that can HELP me PLEASE I have the greatest man that loves me but I am out of contron please e-mail me any info.

10/16/2009 7:29:30 PM
Clinical Psychologist said:

It is dangerous to say that every abusive person will display a large amount of jealousy. That is simply not true. While many do, it is important to realize that there are others who are aggressive or angry in areas that have nothing to do with being jealous or possessive.

4/17/2010 2:13:50 AM
Kristin said:

So...i totally just got out of an abusive relationship a month ago. You your head, youre thinking that you cant do it. that you cant do it on your own and you will be bored or lonely. Its because they fill your head with that junk. Cause they want you to themselves. they know you have the potential to be great and to do way better than them. and you can. keep faith! and dont wait any longer! youll regret it. I wasted a year anda half on someone that i wish i hadnt. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. stand up for youselves!

4/29/2010 12:03:29 AM
Rachael said:

Telling you you don’t need friends because they will always back stab you. Accusing you of looking to go out to do something stupid or mess around cause you did your makeup and hair.. Tell you that you cant take your child to the store but you have a time to get back. Cheat on you and blames you for it. Takes you car apart as your trying to leave. Makes you loose your job for showing up and fighting with you there or calling you all day long.. Telling you what to wear. Using the fact because he’s your husband and he can. Demanding that you have conduct sexual favors for completing a task. Heard them all and I moved 2 states and he followed me this is the hardest thing I had to go threw in my life. And I am lost for words

5/23/2010 11:21:28 AM
Dee said:

I am married to a US Army Soldier. I have three little girls, they love their dad. In the last six to eight months, the violence has become unbearable. I used to be in the top 10% of my high school and college courses, now, I am so insecure, I dont even trust my spelling. The last two days have been the worst. I tried to leave, I got the girls in the car, drove off and everything. I decided not to go. I dont have any resources. I got out of the military to take care of our children. Since then, I havent held a job. Since we have been together, no job I have ever had has been right for him. I dont have anywhere to go, no way to get there and no means once I arrive. I'm afraid to move in any direction. The military couldnt care less. I know that they show pictures of "happy military families" and "Army Wives" but trust me, most of us are abused, insecure, cheated on and lonely. My husband also has a sex addition, (I recently read they are connected, abuse and sexual addition based on jealously). I am a typical woman, I talk a big game but I am unable to leave. I keep saying "when I have enough money" or "when I find a job" or "IM LEAVING". I am every name he calles me. He knows I have nothing, so did the last man. Why am I the only women these men hit? With all the money the government throws at the militry if a newpaper article is published about the war, my storey is one of the oldest in the book.

6/15/2010 7:53:20 PM
Tish said:

After 4 years I am leaving my fiancee. I'm scared but I know I am doing the right thing for myself and for my son. I'm finally listening to and seeing what everyone close to me has been saying about him. These signs are true. He succeeded in isolating me from my friends, male & female. They were all "no good" in his eyes. I moved out of state to be with him.
Seeing this website gives me hope. I don't have to feel like I'm walking on eggshells, I don't have to hurry and pick up the phone when he calls me 5-8 times a day. Then explain myself or get in an argument of why I missed his phone call a half hour ago. I can wear my hair they way I want, makeup the way I want. I can get in a car and travel across state or get on a plane if I want. He would not let me do these things and so much more. He has no ties to my 5 year old because he's not the bio. I am free and my son is free. I leave him forever without a word, no forwarding address at the end of this month. Ladies (and gents), we can do this. We don't want our life to pass us by with the wrong person. We don't get a do over. Lets do it right. The saying is true, I can do bad all by myself.

6/22/2010 3:32:35 AM
Rain said:

I dont know what to do anymore. I love this man to death but i also hate him for the way he treats me. We've been together for 7 years and sometimes it feels like maintaining this relationship is just not worth it anymore. He jumps quickly to anger and he blames everything on others. He is the man that i have given up so much for and i wish he could be there til the end. I thought every relationship has its ups and downs but putting the name of "abusive relationship" to it, its just defeating and undeniable. I feel and i know the "bad" isn't worth the "good" anymore and i know i owe it to myself to a better life. I want to leave but i just dont know how and dont know if im strong enough.....does anyone know how i feel??

7/7/2010 5:03:36 AM
Humid said:

Rain, I am going thru the same situation. The man I'm with that I truly love, destroys my home, and personal belongings, accuses me of sleeping with co-workers or looking at other guys, and so on. He's hit me, pulled my hair, and called me every name in the book. He's pushed me and I even broke my jaw and cut my chin open and drove myself to the emergency room. He is abusive, volatile and viscous. I am sitting here right now all alone and happy not to be around him. I love him, but I would love to completely let him go. I don't want to remember our 'happy' moments because that just makes me weak. We recently had an incident and I haven't talked or seen him for 2 days. I hope i can keep this up. I'm losing my mind to sanity. If that ever makes sense. I know I'm getting close to getting my self back. My spirit has died and i want it back to life.

8/17/2010 10:53:13 PM
Jenn said:

im in an abusive relationship.. my partner had a fake personality and we continued a long distance relationship.. now that i moved in with him (my fault) he has changed..he makes me do everything for him while calling me names.. we have an infant daughter together, hes good to her but treats e very poorly, he throw things at me pushed me around yells at me puts me down.. we are never intimate so he gets it from somewhere trying to leave but paper work for my daughter needs to be done and also for myself and i have no way of getting anywhere.. i have no source of income, no ride, no friends or family here.. i dont know who to turn too.. everytime he sees me cry he looks at me with disgust but yet he wont let me or help me leave,


URL: (optional)


Not finding the advice and tips you need on this Relationship Tip Site? Request a Tip Now!

Guru Spotlight
Barbara Gibson