Relationship Tips

Solve Conflicts in Relationships

Solve Conflicts by taking the LEAD

Conflict is not in and of itself a bad thing. In fact, conflicts in relationships can be constructive when used as a vehicle for improving communication. The following four steps can help you use conflict as a tool for gaining clarity, creating deeper understanding and strengthening relationships.

When you are in the midst of conflict, take the LEAD to manage it respectfully and calmly.

Listen to what is being said. Many times, conflict arises from a simple lack of understanding or miscommunication. Avoid making assumptions about what you hear. Instead, ask for clarification. For example, “I heard you say X, is that what you meant?”

Explorethe feelings that come up – Sometimes conflict escalates because something about the situation is an emotional trigger for us. If you’re feeling upset by the conversation, try to determine where the feeling is coming from. Take several deep breaths and try to remember that what is happening now is completely separate from the past. You can manage conflict more effectively if you deal only with the matter at hand. When you start introducing memories and past sleights it will be tough to get past the history of bad feelings to work toward a positive outcome.

Affirm theother person’s point of view. You don’t have to agree to understand the other point of view. Simply acknowledging and validating someone’s feelings can be a powerful tool for resolving conflict positively. At the end of the day, most people just want to be heard.

Decide on a fair course of action. Now that you have a clear idea of what the problem is and where the person is coming from, it is time to explore some solutions. Throw out some ideas that you can vet together. Choose the soundest option that you can agree on. Plan to revisit your decision within a specified period of time to see how you are doing and what changes, if any, need to be made.

Latin Dating

Latin dating sites include a number of features to help Latin singles get to know each other. You can expect:

• Online profiles and photographs of Latin singles

• Online chat rooms and an instant messenger to allow communication in real time

• An online private email to send and receive personal messages

• An online forum that allows participants to post messages

• A FAQ section providing answers to common questions.

Sex & Being a Single Parent

Singles dealing with the issue of sex during dating is scary enough. Trying to figure out how to handle dating and sex as a single parent may feel like it is enough to push you over the edge. If you are one of the brave ones (a.k.a. have children and dating), consider the following:

• Practice safe sex. Reckless behavior is no longer an option as a parent. You risk your child becoming an orphan every time you have unprotected sex.
• Just because you start having sex with someone you're dating does not mean it's time to introduce them to your child.
• Don't introduce your kids to someone you're dating until a) you've determined that this is a good safe person; and b) the relationship is one you take seriously enough to think that this person may be in your life for a while.
• Do not let your children see a dating partner “stay over” until the relationship is serious. Kids will eventually deduce that staying over means you're having sex. They shouldn't see this with multiple casual partners.

Singles Events – Speed Dating

Singles, following a divorce, can prepare for dating again by taking the opportunity to seek out old and new friends. Support and friendship can strengthen you as you recover and develop new independence. Once you're on the other side of the recovery process, you'll know when you're ready to date again. You'll be able to distinguish between dating out of loneliness and neediness vs. being ready for healthy companionship.

Once you are ready to date, you can take advantage of a variety of online services. These include sites devoted to Jewish singles and online communities. Personals, chat groups, message boards and emailing are options. You can also learn of area social plans, speed dating events, singles clubs and more.

Signs of an Abusive Personality

Dating should be a fun experience. To make sure you're enjoying yourself, while staying safe, be aware of common signs in people with abusive personalities. If you're using an online dating service, look for these types of traits in possible matches:

• Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
• Pushes for quick and intense involvement
• Seems too good to be true
• Needs to be in control
• Unrealistic expectations of the relationship
• Easily upset or angered