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1. You know you’re in a relationship when the doghouse has carpeting, a cot and a television.
2. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
3. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
4. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!
5. Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Girlfriend: Yes it is sufficient for me, but how you will survive?
6. Dear Math,
I'm sick and tired of trying to find your "x". Just accept the fact that she's gone. Move on, Dude.
7. Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
8. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
9. Standing in front of a boutique, I noticed an impatient looking young man approach an attractive woman. “Would you mind talking to me for a few minutes?” he asked her. “Why?” she countered suspiciously. ”My wife has been in this shop for a long time,” the man explained, “but I know she’ll come out if she sees me talking to you.”
10. My daughter has been going out with this guy for a while, so when she came home from a date all upset, I asked her, “What happened?” She replied, “He asked me to marry him.” "Then why are you so sad?” I asked. “Because he also told me he doesn’t believe in religion. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a Hell!” I quickly replied, “Marry him anyway—between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is!”