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Reconciliation After Divorce

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Reconciliation After Divorce

Reconciliation after divorce might seem unthinkable to many who've survived an ugly divorce. But it is not an uncommon phenomenon. You were married in the first place for a reason, after all, and sometimes divorced couples realize that they acted in haste by separating and divorcing. Any number of reasons may draw them back together again from simple love and attachment to finances or children.

Whatever the reasons for reconciling after divorce, this is not a process to enter into lightly. Marriage is serious business as is divorce. If you've done both already and are now rethinking the divorce and are looking at reconciliation, clearly there's some major ambivalence going on here. Flip-flopping around like this isn't only bad for you but will affect the way friends and family see you and how much they trust your relationship. Don't let their opinions stop you but understand your flip-flopping has consequences. This is especially true if children are involved who will be hugely jerked around if their parents keep splitting up (to the point of divorcing) and reconciling.

Even if you desperately miss your ex-spouse, do NOT just jump back in. Take a few deep breaths and think. This would be a great time to get some counseling, both individually for each of you and eventually couples counseling. What brought you together in the first place, what caused you to divorce, and what is making you consider reconciliation? Are you returning out of fear of loneliness or abandonment or our of pressure from your ex or others? These aren't worthy reasons to recommit to a relationship that ended in divorce.



11/22/2007 6:13:31 PM
Brrr said:

Why no comments yet?
I wish we would consider reconciliation. But I know I cannot expect my ex to fall back in love unless she wants to. I can only treat her respectfully and hope that she recalls why she wanted to be married so many years ago.

11/13/2008 5:05:16 PM
sad said:

I feel like you do, Brrr. I love my wife dearly. We aren't divorced yet, but I wish she felt like I do. You said it well, though. It's important to treat your ex (and in this case, my wife, for me) with respect. I love my wife dearly and want nothing more than to make it up to her and my children. I want us together more than anyone can imagine.


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