March 7, 2003, Newsletter Issue #74: Dealing with Jealousy

Tip of the Week

A relationship is about two people who actively choose to be with each other. The two care for each other, support each other, nurture each other, encourage each other. As soon as jealousy starts intruding, it causes huge problems. Now instead of encouraging each other to be the best you can be, one of you is actively dragging the other person down. The relationship falters and fails.

If you`re the jealous one, realize just how much harm is being caused by your insecurities. Most jealousy comes down to a person`s fear of being abandoned. Their wife is too sexy and will obviously run off. Their husband is too friendly and will obviously cheat if given half a chance. In essence you feel "I`m not good enough, so of course if my partner is given any opportunity to leave me, I will be left." The jealousy then destroys the relationship even if nothing was wrong to start with.

If you have a partner that`s jealous, don`t just brush it off. Jealousy is incredibly harmful and rarely gets better on its own. Remember, the jealousy is a symptom of the fear. So just changing your clothes or how you talk to your friends won`t help it. The jealous person will just find a new worry to fixate on. Instead, you have to talk about it, deal with it, and work on removing that fear.

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