Question 1

Do you scream and yell when you have an argument?

	Yes
	No
Yelling and shouting only proves that the person whose voice can drown out the other is the one who has the valid opinion. Getting your partner upset makes him or her less likely to listen to what you are saying. Keep your voices level and really listen to what the words are.

Question 2

Do you stick to the topic at hand when you argue?

	Yes
	No
Discussions should have a goal of resolving a certain issue. If you let them meander over to past issues, or other completely unrelated issues, the chance of you resolving anything is slim.

Question 3

Do you take time outs when things get too heated?

	Yes
	No
Time outs are extremely important if you have begun getting upset at each other. Upset people don´t listen to what the other person is saying, and might say something they will later regret. Take a break, and cool off. You´ll find you will be much more productive if you come back to discuss it later on.

Question 4

Do you insult your partner when you fight?

	Yes
	No
When you´re fighting and cannot think of a real argument, often it´s tempting to slip into attacking known weak spots of your partner, where you know he or she is vunerable. Don´t give in to this kind of escalation - the purpose of the argument should be to resolve an issue, not to rake your partner over the coals.

Question 5

Do you admit it when you´re wrong?

	Yes, I´ll admit I made a mistake.
	No, I´ll rationalize my wrong answer.
It´s difficult sometimes, to admit that you did something wrong. Often it´s easier to defend it, and think up reasons why you did what you did. Is your pride worth the hurt you cause your partner? Just say you did it, apologize, and move on.

Question 6

Do you go for weeks without really talking?

	Yes, sometimes we rarely talk at all.
	No, we talk about issues on a frequent basis.
While on one hand it´s nice to have a partner that doesn´t pick fights all the time, it can be equally frustrating if every time you start to have a disagreement he runs and hides. Many times the partner doesn´t even realize he´s doing this, because it´s such a part of his nature. He may start acting silly or even physically try to hide in order to stop the disagreement from occurring.

Question 7

Do you involve others in your disagreements?

	Yes
	No
Differences of opinion between two people need to be solved between those two people. If you start bringing in family and friends to argue your point, your partner will feel defensive and that he/she is being ´ganged up on´. Your aim should be to find a resolution, not to make your partner feel forced into a decision.

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