Question 1

I should remain in a relationship because it´s better than having to live on my own.

	True
	False
A healthy relationship involves two people who are both self sufficient, who choose to support each other and be there for each other. It doesn´t work if one partner feels they will collapse without the other there to hold him or her up. If you´re feeling trapped, it might be time to take some time apart and build up your self confidence and strength.

Question 2

I encourage my partner to learn and do new things, and I feel encouraged by my partner.

	True
	False
Swing by a nursing home sometime. Studies have shown that the vast majority of mental decline in elderly is simply stagnation. Humans need to learn and do new things in order to keep their brain exercised. If you are stagnating, and especially if your partner is resisting new things to do or changes, it might be time to spread your wings elsewhere.

Question 3

I often say things like ´As soon as he does (or stops doing) XXXXXXX, then it will be better.´

	True
	False
It´s easy to get into a situation where you keep waiting for things to change. You can say ´As soon as we get a house´ or ´as soon as we have a baby´ or ´as soon as we make a bit more money.´ These milestones will come and go, but the underlying problems will still be there.

Question 4

I keep track of what my partner ´owes me´.

	True
	False
A healthy relationship involves two self sufficient people who do things for each other because they want to and because it brings them pleasure. If you´re tracking what you do for your partner, and expect exact payback for your actions, it´s time to sit down and discuss ways of restoring the underlying desire to help each other that might be missing.

Question 5

I feel belittled, treated like I can´t do things on my own.

	True
	False
If for example your partner was worried about you leaving, one way to ensure that you wouldn´t leave would be to convince you that you weren´t able to leave, that you could never live without him or her. That´s not healthy. You should be in the relationship because you want to be, not because you´re afraid to leave.

Question 6

I accept my partner exactly the way he or she is now.

	True
	False
People tend to have fantasy images of their partner in their head, ones they don´t even realize are there. They subconsciously try to get them to dress differently, or flirt less, or be more loving, or talk differently. They figure that marriage, or a house, or other external things will mold their partner into their ideal. This rarely happens in real life. It´s far more likely that what you have now is what you will get. Sit down and look at your partner with open eyes, and accept him or her for what that individual has to offer you.

Question 7

If we fight it´s a sign the relationship is in trouble.

	Yes
	No
No relationship is perfect. There are always going to be disagreements, because you are two individuals with your own ways of doing things, your own priorities and needs and desires. There are bound to be arguments, and you simply need to get through them. If you find yourself arguing all the time, over things which do not matter, then it´s time to sit down and discuss what is really wrong, what is causing the constant friction.

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