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Solve Conflicts in Relationships

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Solve Conflicts in Relationships

Solve Conflicts by taking the LEAD

Conflict is not in and of itself a bad thing. In fact, conflicts in relationships can be constructive when used as a vehicle for improving communication. The following four steps can help you use conflict as a tool for gaining clarity, creating deeper understanding and strengthening relationships.

When you are in the midst of conflict, take the LEAD to manage it respectfully and calmly.

Listen to what is being said. Many times, conflict arises from a simple lack of understanding or miscommunication. Avoid making assumptions about what you hear. Instead, ask for clarification. For example, “I heard you say X, is that what you meant?”

Explorethe feelings that come up – Sometimes conflict escalates because something about the situation is an emotional trigger for us. If you’re feeling upset by the conversation, try to determine where the feeling is coming from. Take several deep breaths and try to remember that what is happening now is completely separate from the past. You can manage conflict more effectively if you deal only with the matter at hand. When you start introducing memories and past sleights it will be tough to get past the history of bad feelings to work toward a positive outcome.

Affirm theother person’s point of view. You don’t have to agree to understand the other point of view. Simply acknowledging and validating someone’s feelings can be a powerful tool for resolving conflict positively. At the end of the day, most people just want to be heard.

Decide on a fair course of action. Now that you have a clear idea of what the problem is and where the person is coming from, it is time to explore some solutions. Throw out some ideas that you can vet together. Choose the soundest option that you can agree on. Plan to revisit your decision within a specified period of time to see how you are doing and what changes, if any, need to be made.



5/17/2010 12:19:03 AM
annawoods04 said:

Due to misunderstandings and misconceptions relations ruin between any two persons. The lack of real understanding and real knowledge about the thinking ability also may be the relation to break with no strong reason.

5/24/2010 7:56:44 AM
Ashley said:

There is too much going on and i need to know what to do im 18, I'm pregnant, and VERY MOODY, I WAS engaged and I dont know if I want it back.. any advice?

7/4/2010 9:21:03 AM
jennifer said:

How do you communicate with someone who doesn't want to talk. Calls you childish if you bring up a conflict in the relationship. I am so confused, I am writing a letter to give my fiancee so he can see and read what is going on. But I don't know what to do.

7/26/2010 2:12:26 PM
Ray Ray said:

Jennifer you should move on. Name calling = unappreciation and you should always be appreciated

8/3/2010 1:20:30 AM
Dave said:

I have a friend that's been in a relationship for six months they got in there first argument and now he telling her he's not emotional in to her I told her to let him to move on.

10/1/2011 2:36:26 PM
caryl said:

me and my ex broke up 9 months ago and were together for 3 years. He wanted to give it another ago and it has been 4 weeks since we got back together. I just had a text from him saying that he feels like we are not back together. I asked him whats was wrong and he says that he feels like we are more like mates than anything. I over reacted and thought that he was breaking up with me after sending the text and then thought I should send him a text and be honest with him. I said How i felt after we have broken up, we still chatted and now that we are together, it feels strange being with him after wanting him back.

Was I over reacting by thinking he doesnt want me back or am I sounded like a needy girl that has no life and worries too much? I do love him and find it has been hard being independant after being back together. I need help :(

11/15/2011 11:36:24 AM
N said:

Relationships break when you don't respect your love and the loved one...first try to understand your love and what is lacking in the love...if you are unable to find is better to meet up and speak up everything that is there and try not to will go worse.. control your self and be a good listener and understand..think before you speak...

7/2/2012 11:39:17 PM
Bjcree Paudel said:

Ya relationships are very hard to handle but, when it starts and moves on it feels great.....many people go on with conflicts regularly....longer the relationship higher the rate of manage conflicts here are some easy steps:
1. Spend much more time with loved ones
2. Share things even if it is bitter
3. Dont let a third person share your bitter truth
4. Take her out regularly
5. And most importand, help her and dont forget memorable dates like anniversary and birthdays!!!

So, above are five instructions....use them and feel free to share....


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