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As a dating relationship gets more serious, singles have to decide when to take it to the next level. For dating single-parents, the first step in this process is introducing a serious dating partner to your kids. The second step is to see how this dating partner handles your kids. The first criterion for judging a potential mate is how they treat you. If you are a single-parent, an equally important criterion is how they treat your children.
It's not easy for the new boyfriend coming into this situation. Single mothers and single dads have their own patterns as a mini-family that a new boyfriend or girlfriend is trying to fit into. All kinds of new dynamics can emerge, competition, jealousy, alliances. These are normal but it's incumbent on the adults to handle them and respond with maturity and patience.
If your new partner is short-tempered with your children, feels prematurely entitled to a role as authority-figure or disciplinarian, to say nothing of if he or she mistreats your child, it's your job as a parent to challenge that and interrupt it immediately. Protecting your children is one of your top responsibilities as a parent. That includes protecting them from any boyfriend or girlfriend in your life. If they don't adjust and change based on your feedback, that's a sure sign that this relationship is not one to stick with.
You're a package deal. Any new boyfriend or girlfriend has to know coming in that being with you means treating you right and doing the same for your kids.
How true, and unfortunately it happens all too often that the relationship goes south in a hurry over my kids. My kids are not demanding, we lost their mother almost 4 years ago (she passed away) and since then it's been one after another woman who either doesn't care for kids, is too quick tempered or just feels like she is now their mom and that's how it will be.
I have heard everything ffrom the kids ( 2 girls ) need a woman in their lives to they need a mother. They have heard it so often they promptly reply we have a mother, and he's also our dad.
Good advice to anyone who is single and parenting, I guess it's better to find out early thought and avoid the feelings being hurt by all. The only thing to remember is that you are and always will be a parent first ( mom or dad ) and have a life on the side when you can. I feel I may not be able to date seriously again until my kids are grown up a little more but then again that was the deal I made when I had them.