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Even if not consciously aware, people crave a return to a state of complete, divine love. During our search, relationships with others are meant to mirror our own current issues. This is a gift as it assists our learning and development.
When you react strongly to someone, whether positive or negative, its purpose is to draw your attention. You are reacting because you hold a judgment about whatever attribute or situation has prompted your response. As long as you hold judgment of others, you can not find the peace you desire within. Whether you are interested in a Jewish relationship or a Christian relationship, the opportunity exists to learn self-acceptance from these interactions.
In practical terms, your spiritual development will be aided by working to overcome the need to defend yourself or prove another “wrong.” Treating your partner and yourself with compassion, instead of criticism and judgment, will develop the most beautiful relationships we are capable of.
Rodegast and Stanton (1994) state this beautifully:
“There is nothing but love. Don't let the masks and postures fool you. Love is the glue that holds the Universe together. The greatest need in a soul is to achieve that loving of self which will bring about the unity wherein the judgments that have caused such pain are eliminated. Love and compassion for others cannot exist until there is a goodly supply for self. How can you feel the love of God if you do not love yourself? Are they not one and the same thing?”
A loving relationship with yourself is the key to the love and joy you seek.
Instead of "How can you feel the love of God if you do not love yourself?", should it not be, "How can you feel true love for oneself, if you do not love God?" The former statement implies that you should love yourself first and not yet God, which will cause a certain type of pride to be aroused, but in essence, should it not be the other way around? To find love, you must first realize that God created the world, and so through Him there's love to be found, instead of through oneself. Once this is realized, love becomes a fruit of the soul. To love God means to know God. Knowing God means reading the holy texts, for in each, you'll be able to find little bits and pieces of the truth. :)