Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Comments

michels_2004@yahoo.com this is a good site.this was helpful and I love the list to the left as it offers a wide range of issues persons face. great JOB!

We must take a look at our childhood to see if we are subconsciously looking for the same environment and hurting ourselves. If your childhood had for instance an absent father, then you will love someone who is distant or cold or witholding.
If you do not resolve that issue, you will repeatedly be drawn to those who represent the same early environment you had....and pick an abusive person every time. The face will change but not the issues.
Try giving the relationship some time before you jump in with both feet. Ask...can I be myself or do I have to edit who I am for this person to be happy? Do I seem to be responsible for their state of emotional wellbeing? Or is this person responsible for their own wellbeing.
If they have gotten physical, you are waiting for it to get worse if you stay. It always escalates. This time they bruised you, next time they break a bone. It doesn't matter how sorry they are afterwards.

My boyfriend its abusive,I'm 18 and we have a son together,I'm scared to leave him because he threatens to take my baby away,he tells me I'm ruined and ill never meet anyone else,and if I do they will never love me because I'm a wreck,since being with him I've put loads of weight,lost all my friends,I'm suicidal,I don't understand how he turned so evil,at the begining he was brilliant,during my pregnancy he looked after me never showed me any violence,after having the baby everything turned bad,he's hit me,and doesn't show any remorse,he tells me I deserved it,he's threatend to crash his car while I've been in it,and also tried pushing me out of the door while doing 90 on the motorway,when I tell him I want to leave him he pretends nothing happened,and sends me txts saying he loves me,& he begs me back and cries down the phone to me,then when I take him back he treats me bad,lashes out and calls me names,he says he treats me bad because I won't live with him,I know the only way I can get away from him is moving and changing me and my sons name,but I've had no help and I'm scared he will kill me,

i dont know if i am in a abusive relationship!!! its verbal basically not hitting! but i think it may turn into a abusive relationship. he says he wont hit me because he feels if a man hits women they are wimps. idk what should i do?

If in doubt, kick him out! While arguments can be a normal part of a close relationship, you should still feel like you can trust him at the end of the argument. Win or lose, a real partner will still be able to rationally carry out an argument without namecalling, belittling, or dragging in parts of the past that have nothing to do with the argument. And yes, verbal is as bad as physical. If it's something you wouldn't want a 5-yr old to hear, you don't have to put up with it.

I am in a verbally abusive relationship with a 47 yr old alcoholic. He has never physically hurt me. I research alcoholism behavior on a daily basis and am fully equipped to deal with it, however I am truly an emotional wreck and am finding it impossible to get out...I constantly refer to his drinking as him falling into the black hole, sometimes drinking for a month straight...not eating and sending me hundreds of text messages claiming Im the bad person. In fact Im in the black hole in this relationship and being sucked dry of my happiness and future with someone deserving of my company. I cant get out...need help.