February 26, 2010, Newsletter Issue #293: Truth and Consequences

Tip of the Week

In the early stages of a relationship, it's easy to be blinded by infatuation and fail to notice "red flags" that can signal someone is lying.

-- You've decided to date one another exclusively, but your partner's Internet dating profile is still active.

-- Your new love only wants to meet in distant or out-of-the-way places (there may be a hidden spouse).

-- Stories don't add up (for instance, claims of a high-powered job and a Lexus that's always "being detailed" while the person in question lives with Mom).

-- Stories that seem too good to be true (if this person were really a covert CIA operative, would he or she tell you?).

-- A long-distance Internet match wants to meet, but won't pay to travel to your area. There is a well-known scam in which the con artist targets lonely men, sending photos of models and developing romances which lead to the men sending thousands of dollars for "plane tickets." But women can be victims of this too.

-- The relationship seems to be moving too fast, and you're being pressed to commit too early (could be a controlling or abusive personality, or possibly just someone with very poor social skills).

-- The person doesn't respect your boundaries -- pushing for sex or commitment before you're ready, calling you at work.

-- The person gives inconsistent information -- her online profile says she's 26 but her driver's license says 30; he says he was in the Marines, but has a Navy tattoo.

-- The person seems quick to anger, getting upset too easily at little things.

-- The person says "I'm thinking about quitting my job" (probably means he or she has been fired or never had a job to begin with).

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Barbara Gibson