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A fair amount of working through relationships is learning to understand your feelings. Music can have a huge impact on the way you feel. Play slow, soothing songs, and your anger will melt away. Play sultry songs, and you will start to feel sexy and smooth. Play lively, pop songs and you'll be in the mood for dancing.
You tend to play songs that reinforce your current mood, but be aware that this is going on. Are you feeling angry? Don't necessarily play lots of "bang your head" music to rile yourself up further - consider playing something slower and more relaxing to bring you down. Just finished a fight with your lover? Instead of pouring on the "love is a battlefield" songs of angst, try instead to put on songs of reconciliation. You'll be surprised how you can help yourself work through an emotion with the help of music.