When to Start Dating Again

Many folks emerge from divorce with feelings of hurt, anger, mistrust, and pessimism about relationships. The idea of a new relationship sounds impossible. Others may have the same feelings but throw themselves into new relationships anyway. Those who wait are usually better off. Some time to recover from a divorce is generally a good thing. It’s an opportunity for growth, to assess what went wrong the last time, and a time to reflect and learn more about how you relate and cope within a relationship. If one emerges from divorce with nothing but blame and bitterness for the other person, your work is not done. And you’ll be vulnerable to a repeat next time around. Even if your ex-spouse was a cheat, liar, alcoholic or an abuser it is good to focus on what you learned about yourself through the relationship. You are not to blame for any of those things; they are not your fault. It is a waste of time to beat yourself up or carry around guilt. Instead, educate yourself about early warning signs of these personality types, look at what attracted you to the person, take note of red flags and instinctual responses that can alert you in the future. Counseling is often helpful in dealing with these issues.