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Long Distance Relationship Advice

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Long Distance Relationship Advice

Some long distance couples find this to be the best of both worlds. You can live your life without constant attention to the needs of a partner. Yet, you have a person with whom you connect periodically to get a regular dose of romance and fun.

After a while, this can be a double-edged sword, however.

Many couples in long distance relationships find it so much fun and, in a way, so low-impact on their day-to-day lives, that after a while they become convinced that this relationship is obviously “the one.” And sometimes it is. But it's hard to judge that from a distance.

Perhaps no long distance relationship advice is more important than to be careful. Do not overestimate a long distance relationship's potential to translate into a regular relationship where you live in the same town, same home, and are headed towards long-term commitment.

The long distance relationship is an easy place to be on best behavior. Anyone can be accommodating, flexible, and attentive for a long weekend. This says little, in most cases, about how accommodating, flexible and attentive each party will be if you see each other every day, much less live in the same home.

In a nutshell, always remember: a long distance romance is NOT real life. It can be a wonderful little bubble that floats through real life. Party on in that bubble. Live it up.

Real life happens when you step outside that bubble to incorporate both your habits, idiosyncrasies, faults, families, jobs. Life becomes very different from what it was inside that bubble. Make changes to your life with caution.

   

Comments

10/14/2008 5:48:57 AM
Shaquila Jones said:

I completly agree.....I am in a long distance relationship and just the talks we have is freshing to me and when we see each other its like we see each other everyday....I love that feeling


11/17/2008 4:44:25 PM
Roman Banks said:

Thanks for your help.What should i do if you fall in love with the person that lives somewhere far away.


1/23/2009 6:42:11 PM
Dee said:

I have been in one for 7 years. I only see him maybe 4x a year - totally monogomous but this can wear real THIN when you are spending weekends alone b/c you can only see one another via flying. Also, I am used to "my space" When he is in town & wants to stay here for more than 3 days - I can't stand it. HOwever, I'm okay staying at his place b/c it is a "vacation" for me. Too may cons. I say do it for fun, do not get real serious, it doesn't go anywhere & if it does - the fantasy will be gone like THAT.


2/21/2009 8:01:37 PM
amber said:

i recently just started dating someone that lives 40miles from me. we see each other every weekend and we talk/text everyday. we really like one another and have SO much in common. so far our relationship is give and take. we commute to each other. i will go to him one weekend. the next he comes to me. and so on. we have the same values and background, and are looking for the same things. could this work?


4/24/2009 2:49:14 AM
peggy said:

I was in a long range relationship and it was all of the above.. easy, superficial, and supportive without a lot of effort.. but I also called him my "boyfriend in a pocket". I could bring him out when it was handy but he stayed put when it wasnt convenient. The truth was we were going separate ways but just hadnt said "when" and maybe hoping something would change. When it didnt, there was a feeling that if someone better came along.. I would get a hole in my pocket real fast!


1/2/2010 8:36:28 PM
lisa said:

I have been in a relationship for over a year with someone I just happen to just break up with.
Let me just say this when you ask him or her "what will happen when i get a job in your city and he or she says" we will cross that bridge when we get to it". It is time to say goodbye. The traveling is horrible inclement weather and the who is coming in when and i was there last! ugh! Don't get me wrong I had wonderful times but difficult to do if you are the type of person who loves sharing your everyday life with someone. I am heart broken but if he really loved me we would find a way to be together.


1/19/2015 8:00:03 AM
Tricia said:

It is always advisable for both parties in their own interest to be sincere to each other and set parameters for the relationship, by setting parameters I mean they both should know if they are dating, engaged, seeing each other or in a boyfriend – girlfriend relationship. This might seem weird, but it has a way of saving both parties lots of headache and heartbreaks in the long run. They Should be very open to each other, open to ask questions of all sort and open to give sincere answers.et the boundaries of your relationship. Before you plunge into this rather unconventional setup, make sure the rules of the relationship are clear to both of you. Are you willing to give other people a chance while your partner is away? Or would you rather keep your relationship exclusive? Are you willing to relocate sometime in the future? Or would you just cross the bridge when you get there? Yes, some of the questions are difficult—and even awkward—to ask, but it will spare you a lot pain and trouble in the long run.


1/27/2015 2:51:04 AM
Trish said:

My suggestion is to not stay apart for more than 30 days. Each time you see each other, make sure you have already planned the next visit. It gives you both something to look forward to and prevents you from feeling that "this is the end" after each visit. More importantly, it keeps the relationship alive and keeps it from becoming an "imaginary relationship."




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