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When someone does something we do not like, we tend to focus on what they did wrong. We judge. We criticize. We point out what we deem to be their faults. The person in turn feels hurt or angry. Conflict or distance occur. This is not helpful to anyone. There is no need to assign blame or prove who did what. Disengage from this lose – lose pattern! Instead, focus on the other person's experience, empathize, look for how to help. Someone can not remain angry, hurt, or keep arguing when your response is one of compassion.