Ghosts of the Past

Sometimes, the problems in a marriage are problems that started before you even met your partner. These "ghosts" can cause miscommunications, anxieties, and problems with money, power, and sex. A wife who was raped in the past may have trouble experiencing her partner's gentle sexual advances as expressions of love. A husband who had trouble with a previous cheating spouse may be hypervigilant in his current marriage, looking for signs of infidelity where they don't exist. Sometimes, just talking about the "ghosts," asking questions like "What has happened like this in the past?", is enough to lay them to rest. If the ghosts are persisten and troubling enough, couples therapy may be needed to help you both understand their power and separate the past from the present.