Money and Marriage

Money becomes a symbol for power in many marriages, and each partner brings expectations, fears, and hopes around money into the relationship when it begins. In addition, many cheating spouses are discovered not because of their extramarital sex, but because of their extramarital spending. One important step is to give both partners information and access to money that belongs to them both. On a practical note, this can prevent problems if the partner who does most of the bookkeeping and bill-paying becomes ill or disabled. Within a relationship, it sends a message that both partners are adults who have responsibilities for managing their joint resources. Another useful ground rule is a limit on big-ticket items. A good budget includes an amount of "mad money" -- even $25 per month, if that's what you can afford -- for each partner to spend without consulting the other. It also includes an agreement not to spend more than a certain amount without consulting one another, and a list of financial goals that both partners have set together.