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It's a common relationship problem -- a couple goes to a party, and one person has a delightful time talking and flirting, while the other seethes in the corner. The ride home is a familiar cycle of recriminations -- "you're overreacting!" "You're ignoring me!"
Many married people enjoy flirting at a party as a way of maintaining a connection to a side of themselves they gave up when they settled down.
If you're the flirtatious partner, remember to introduce your partner at social events, and make at least one appropriate gesture of couplehood -- putting your hand on a shoulder, for example -- early in the event. Try to include your partner in fun conversations or activities, and back off when the conversation gets risque.
If you're the non-flirting partner, don't indulge in "revenge flirting" -- you won't enjoy it and it won't get the response you want from your partner. Instead, introduce yourself to a few people who also seem to be on the sidelines, and see if you can have some fun at the event.