I have a child with a man, we love each other, live together, but he doesn't support me or his child!

I live with a man,have a 10month old daugter with him, am 35yrs old (former wine professional), and he is 45 yrsold, successful, owns his own business, (not wealthy), owns his home, we have 2 nice cars, and to everyone on the outside we are happy, content. The problem is several things: I live in his house, he pays the mortgage, the bills, utilities,car insurance, etc. He also has a 12 yr old son from his 1st marriage, who we get 50 percent of the time, and his son wants for nothing...chess camps, trips to other countries, fencing lessons, french school...he is rather indulged child. WE have a good respectful relationship. However, this man who I love dearly, doesn't pay for nearly anything else for his daughter! I had to sneak (too embarassed to tell him at time) to go get food stamps and public assistance medical coverage when pregnant to get by... I cook all the meals, and it was an ego thing I could no longer work (after I had the baby)..we both agreed I stay home with our baby..but he never once or has ever said the words: I'll take care of you...I'm no gold digger nor do I want a free ride..I've worked all my life, and hard..but in restaurant work,,,so not a huge savings acct to show for it...I used up all my savings, and some stocks I had to stay at home for last 8 months with daughter, but he seemed completely oblivious to the fact I was still cooking 3 meals a day for him and his son gourmet at that...not wondering where the money was coming from or never did he ask if I needed any help!

I was too proud and embarassed to ask, but now, I'm getting angry and frustrated..I've racked up my credit card debt because of it...when I try to talk to him about it..I get emotional, he gets distracted by work or his cell phone, and I'm back where I started..he is clueless! Help me! how do I just be effing blunt with him?!

The state we live in is now coming after him to pay up child support (we do live together and have child..) but because at th time I applied and got assistance, we weren't livign together yet. I'm grateful for all he's done...but when his son has private health insurance, and he didn't even get his daughter a xmas gift nor has he bought her one toy, item of clothing, or baby gear (all from me or my parents)...I feel more and more insecure about the whole thing...we do love each other, are not married, but committed...I wonder what to do

well jen your in a rather tough situation and i feel for you,so my advice to you would be to put an end to all of this, i man seriously hasn't bought her one toy?! obviously your not working and he doesn't give you any money so what the hell is he thinking that you can magically pull money out of your ass?! i noticed you said you tried to talk to him before but get to emotional and thats normal but the problem isn't you getting emotional its his short attention spend thats the problem how can a man be so blind and not pay attention to his own wifes need or notice theirs something wrong? anyways you need to coner him usually you don't want to put a person in a type situation but i feel this is the only way he'll understand, you have to sit him down and talk to him and if he gets a call force him not to take it or take away his cell phone. talk to him and if you star to see him trying to walk away get angry and demand that he sits his ass down until your done talking, and have a talk with him, i don't exactly know hwat you guys are like or nor do i want to guess, i would usually tell you something to say or some where alone the lines of what to say, but because of my current relationship and the position we were in not to long ago i afraid of what might come out of my mouth since right now i'm to emotional, and wtf his 12 year old son needs to be slapped back into reality if you guys aren't rich he needs to learn that, before his father spoils him to much, i mean serious fencing lessons? chess camp?, french class i'll let slide, and trips to other country does he think his dad is rich or something? damn that kid needs to caught back and no one takes fencing lessons now a days take something usual like karate or someting that you'll actually use if your in a situation like that. anyways jen like i said before i feel for you and i wish you luck because believe me when i say this you going to need it and part of how i imagine you situation will plan out, will lets just hope it doesn't i don't you to end up in the situation i'm thinkink you could end up.

You sure are in a though decision but it seems that he dosen't even pay attenton to both u and your daughter wat i suggest is either talk to him about it ask him to just listen to u for atleast 10 minutes tell him turn off ur phone and put your work a side for one time women these days have to learn how to succeed on there own and be strong YEs its very hard but if u set your mind to it and think wat is the best for both you and your daugter i mean wats the point of being together if its like you guys are not and its to him like he dont have another child my by suggestion is Get enough strength and sit and talk first if it dosent work then the next step would be u telling him good bye...

RESPECT, is what you deserve. Seem's every one except you is getting it. Sit him down, emotional or not, tell him whats on your mind,and if he really love's you he will respect you and help raise and support his child. If he is not responsive to your requests, give him the choice of helping you or you will get help from the court's. This disrespect for you and your baby does not sound like love, so if he ignores you, then maby it is time to move on and find real love and respect!!!!!!!

There's an old song that include the words "You don't know what you've got til it's gone." You've talked and he hasn't listened. Leave him a note on the table where you usually provide his gourmet meal. It seems that there were some important life topics that were never discussed and agreed upon. It's tough to do that sometimes when what you are falling in love and assuming that everything will go well. Your baby girl and you do indeed deserve respect, but it must begin with you. Lessons learned are always the hardest. Good luck!

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