August 29, 2008, Newsletter Issue #217: Will marriage really change things?
Tip of the Week
For couples who live together, itīs easy to think that getting married wonīt change anything - that the two will be the exact same people, in the exact same situation, but now with a piece of paper.
The reality is that each person has been exposed their entire lives to thoughts about what marriage is. They may not consciously think there is any difference, but childhood dreams, situations they encountered growing up, and friends and family all combine to give most people a different outlook on the relationship once the two are married.
Someone might assume (but never actually say) that "he will settle down" or "she will want kids" once they go through the ceremony. A partner might be unhappy and assume that "once we are married" things will be better.
Sit down and examine what your own views are on the change, and then talk with your partner about them. If you do get married, keep talking throughout the process so you can know if your expectations begin to change, and can deal with the changes together.
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